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Autor Thema: Losing My Religion (A Dempeo Fic) (18+)  (Gelesen 119855 mal)
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« am: 13. Oktober 2008, 23:45:46 »

Autor: makeminedreamy
Leading Actors: Mainly Ellen and Patrick but some others may appear at times! 
Abridgment: It's a dempeo fic! So...it's actors and not characters at all.  Augenrollen
Status: Active-In Progress
Last Update: 10-13
Rating: 18 -> This fic is classified at a age of 18

"Spoiler" Parts in this fic are only for people with a age of 18+!!!!


*Hey girls. So I was asked to bring this story here, and I'm super excited because I've never been on this site before!!  Smiley I'm looking forward to explore some of it.

This is my first ever dempeo fic. I understand dempeo isn't something everyone likes, but for those of you dreamers out there it should be just perfect! Let me know if you like it.

Could you post comments/reviews in english please? Because...I don't speak a word of german!!! lol  Augenrollen




-Early filming of season 2-

The door to the silver Cadillac shut, creating a loud tin like thump in the quiet of the night. He waited patiently, squinting to make out her dark sweat suit clad form as it made its way up the front sidewalk.

Finally, she made it up into the light of the front porch and, before putting the key in the lock, turned to offer him a gentle wave goodnight. He was too far away to make out her expression, but he knew a smile was adorning her porcelain features.

He waved in reply, still waiting until she successfully pushed open the door and disappeared into her modest home. Pulling away, his nostrils were overwhelmed with vanilla, and a hint of whatever flowery perfume she had no doubt spritzed upon herself before leaving the set.

His own driveway was just three doors down, he could be there in less than a minute. But that night, he took his time. Driving uncharacteristically slow, he barely let his foot hit the gas pedal. His car passed under the shadows of the streetlights. It was well past midnight, his car was the only one around.

There was a time, not too long ago, but long enough to make the memories fade, that he would have rushed home to spend time with his wife and young daughter. There was a time he would stare at his watch....cursing every single minute as the big hand gently ticked towards dinner time...and beyond.

Those times were happy. Filled with the giggles of his daughter and the taunting of his wife as she teased him about his hair, and other things she thought the girls swooned over. He had just been cast as Dr. Derek Shepherd in Grey's Anatomy then. He had done it. After so many years of struggling to find jobs to help pay the mortgage, he was successful.

He owed it all to his wife. She pushed him forward...comforting him after failed auditions and giving him ambition he never thought he was capable of. She was his rock. His other half....the one person who made him feel like he could be someone again.

But, being successful came with its own pitfalls. He was always filming. Once the show had taken off, the nights became later and later as last minute scripts were scrapped and huge episodes were filmed.

He didn't know the man he had become, but he also wasn't sure if he ever knew himself before either. All that changed the day he met his co-star. She had a rare beauty behind her eyes that made it impossible for him to look away from.

She was down to earth, innocent, but not naive. She kept him grounded...kept his ego from getting too big. She had this ability...to say one thing, but mean something completely different while commanding everyone's attention. When she spoke, people listened. Forming a friendship with her seemed to be the most logical thing in the world.

As the days and nights dragged on, she made him laugh, even when he wanted to cry. They kept each other company, had lobster bakes with the cast and made working together fun instead of intense.

He found himself unable to wait for his call time, so he'd go in early...just to hang out with her. They did dinner with their spouses and rode bikes around the set and teased each other mercilessly. He couldn't hide the twinkle in his eyes when he spoke about her, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

Suddenly, his wife's teasing became less funny, her advise seemed less sound, and the ambition she once had for his career seemed to sizzle out and die. He was blinded in the glorious light that surrounded the female lead of the hit show that perhaps...would be his greatest success.

As he pulled into his long driveway and surveyed the dark house in front of him, he realized those happy times were all but a distant memory. Though he dropped his daughter off at school every morning, and spent as much time with her as he could, he hadn't been home to put her to bed in...well he couldn't even process how long it had been.

Running a hand over his stubbly chin, he let out a sigh, and was about to step out of the car, when his cell phone chirped from his back pocket. He couldn't hide the smile that lit up his face. He fumbled for it, with such anticipation that his fingers were shaking at the movements.

He knew who it would be. No one else was awake at such a late hour. Unlocking the screen, he waiting until his fingers were still, and then held the blackberry up to his face.

To Patrick: Thanks for the ride home. Maybe you'll let me drive next time. Good night!

From: Ellen

He had driven her home for the past five nights. He told himself he would never forgive himself if she fell asleep trying to drive all the way home at such a late hour. They were saving the environment...doing their part against global warming. It was normal.

With a smirk, he deleted the message and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. He told himself he was clearing room for messages he would receive the next day. He told himself there was no need to hide a message from his best friend. Patrick told himself a lot of things he knew weren't true.


-3 weeks later-

It was a sunny day. In typical California fashion, you wouldn't even be able to tell it was late October. Winter was quickly approaching, and yet he was still dressed in khaki shorts and a t-shirt.

It was a rare day in which they had finished shooting while daylight still forced him to wear sunglasses. As his car continued down the familiar highway, the wind rushing in the open windows blew his hair in all directions.

"Patrick...you don't have to grip the seats so tightly....I'm not going to crash your car..." Ellen commented with a grin from her position behind the wheel. Realizing she was right, he relaxed his hands.

Glancing over at her, he noticed the way the wind blew her dark blond hair into her face. The sun reflecting over her golden locks made it look like a halo around her head. He wanted to brush the wispy strands away and keep them from assaulting her perfect cheek....but....something kept him from doing so.

"Watch this speed bump coming up." He advised, fretting nervously over his antique car. He had never let her....or...anyone for that matter...drive it. But, she had begged for weeks...and something about the way her bottom lip poked out in the form of a pout left him unable to refuse.

Somewhere in the back of his head, he knew it was a mistake, but, another part of his brain argued that she was a good friend...and good friends trusted each other.

"Relax, if I crash your car I'll have to buy you another...and that would put a dent in my shopping trips." She teased, a hint of her Boston accent slipping out. It made him smile every time he heard it. It was comforting....it reminded him of Main, a place he missed more than he'd ever admit.

"I have faith in you." He assured, but his hands had turned into fists once again. The turn she made onto their street was a little fast for his liking, but he hid his disapproval. Ellen was sweet and sometimes too nice for her own good. Behind that sweetness though, she was also feisty...with a strong Italian temper that he did not want to be on the wrong side of.

She drove the car past her house, and he looked at her in confusion. "Uh....El...you know you just passed your house, right?"

"I'm just gonna park it in your driveway and walk home." She told him, and before he knew it they were pulling into his driveway.

Pulling up the emergency break for her, he replied, "Are you sure? I wouldn't have minded switching." With a smirk in his direction, she got out of the car and pulled her stuff from the back.

"It's up the street, I'll be fine. Besides, how many days do we get to walk in broad daylight?" She had a point there, and he nodded his head in agreement.

"You're right. Well...be careful." A part of him didn't want to see her go. He automatically felt empty as she started walking down the driveway.

"I'm a big girl!" She called back to him, pausing for a moment to send him a smile. He watched as her gaze drifted to his front porch and she raised her hand to wave. Following her gaze to the porch, he came face to face with the cold eyes of his wife. Her hand was in the air waving to Ellen, but the smile on her face was pinched and forced.

Turning back to Ellen, he watched her walk down the driveway and then made the trek up to his porch.

Before he could get near his wife, she asked, "Did you have a nice ride?" Her voice full of insinuation. He wondered how long she had been standing there. Her eyes were cold and so different than the ones he had stared into all day. His gut clinched, preparing for the fight they would surely have.

It had been brewing for weeks, like a summer storm and he had ignored it, avoided it and done everything in his power to pretend things were okay. Looking back at the car, he let out a sigh and stepped onto the porch.

"Don't worry, Patrick. I'm sure she made it home okay." She snapped as a greeting and walked into the house. The screen door slammed behind her, but he didn't even flinch at the noise.

"Honey, I'm home..." He mumbled, but didn't follow her right away, instead he let the wind blow through his hair once again. He could swear he could still smell Ellen's perfume flowing lightly with the breeze.
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« Antworten #1 am: 13. Oktober 2008, 23:55:40 »

I´m soooo happy now  Grinsend Grinsend Grinsend

I love your amazing Dempeo FF!!!!  Liebe Liebe And I´m soooo happy you post it on our german site now  Grinsend Grinsend Grinsend

(And I´m so happy you understand my bad english grammar  Lachweinend)

Cathy and I love  your story sooo much - thats the best FF ever!!! We talk about your story the whole night and day, it´s sooo real - it must be real  Grinsend

Dempeo for life  Liebe

Thank you sooooo much for posting  Herz Herz Herz
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« Antworten #2 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 00:00:02 »

I´m soooo happy now  Grinsend Grinsend Grinsend

I love your amazing Dempeo FF!!!!  Liebe Liebe And I´m soooo happy you post it on our german site now  Grinsend Grinsend Grinsend

(And I´m so happy you understand my bad english gramatik  Lachweinend)

Cathy and I love  your story sooo much - thats the best FF ever!!! We talk about your story the whole night and day, it´s sooo real - it must be real  Grinsend

Dempeo for live  Liebe

Thank you sooooo much for posting  Herz Herz Herz

Sure! I like posting it anywhere I can!! I have a lot of updates, so if people want i can just start posting them!
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Mtgl. d. AGA,AGVG,GAF-Productions,NNCFCMDM,MFC&LDC


« Antworten #3 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 00:04:56 »

First: Welcome  Zwinker
It's great having an english Fanfic writer here:)

I totally like your spelling style! Though I don't understand everything (my english isn't that good Augenrollen) I really like how you describe Derek's thoughts and feelings Jaa
I'm not sooo in this Dempeo thing, but that doesn't keep me out reading your FF and viewing the newest Dempeo Pics Grinsend

I look forward for the continuation Smiley
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>> Maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare. <<
We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all.
But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful.
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« Antworten #4 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 02:23:14 »

First: Welcome  Zwinker
It's great having an english Fanfic writer here:)

I totally like your spelling style! Though I don't understand everything (my english isn't that good Augenrollen) I really like how you describe Derek's thoughts and feelings Jaa
I'm not sooo in this Dempeo thing, but that doesn't keep me out reading your FF and viewing the newest Dempeo Pics Grinsend

I look forward for the continuation Smiley

it's okay if you're not so into the dempeo thing! I wont hold it against you. Mostly...I just like to imagine what would happen if they were together.

I write with a lot of....description, I know that's kind of hard for people with english as a second language so if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask!!!!!!  Jaa Smiley :lv:I'm really liking this board. I'm sad I don't speak german though because some of the stories seem really cool!
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« Antworten #5 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 02:41:16 »

"What are you doing home so early? I thought you had a conference today?" Patrick asked, as he stepped into the kitchen where his wife was absentmindedly scrubbing away at the spotless counter tops. She was angry, he could tell...although he wasn't exactly sure he knew why.

She didn't answer him right away, and after several minutes of the cold shoulder, his annoyance got the best of him. "So now you're ignoring me? I'm exhausted...I need a shower...so if you're going to ignore me...then I'll just go upstairs."

The soapy sponge she had been scrubbing with went flying through the air and he had to duck so it wouldn't hit him in the head. "Jillian...what the hell?" He snapped loudly and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Keep your voice down. Your daughter's asleep upstairs. This is her nap time you know...but I guess...since this is the first time you've been home at a decent hour in weeks...you wouldn't know that."

Her insinuation about not knowing his daughter sent his mind reeling. He didn't need to come home to anger and resentment. He would have rather stayed on set than argue with his wife. With an angry swipe through his hair, he moved to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water.

"What is this about? This is what you wanted, remember? You encouraged me to do this. You wanted us to have the money...and the fame....and the good business it would bring for your company. This is my job, Jill. I can't make my own schedule like you can. You didn't have any problems with this before....as long as the money kept pouring in, right?"

Jill spun around wildly. Her light blond hair smacking against her shoulders as she turned towards him. There were so many emotions in her eyes. Anger, pain, but most of all jealousy. He could see it very clearly, and he realized this was a fight he could no longer avoid.

"This isn't about your working hours, Patrick. Don't give me your bullshit. This is about the co-star down the street you just so happen to spend every waking hour with." He was stunned by her words.

"El....you mean Ellen? That's ridiculous. We're friends."

"Oh...give me a break. Maybe her boyfriend buys that load of crap...but I sure as hell don't." She spat, and walked away from him to put as much distance between her and him as she could.

His eyes went wide, his temper was like a canon going off and without further thought he followed her, taking her arm and pushing her out the back door.

"What are you doing?" She asked frantically, and yanked her arm out of his grasp.

"I'm not having this discussion inside...not where T can hear it."

"Oh..." She nearly cackled with sarcasm. "You just don't want her to know that her precious daddy is an adulterer..."

"Jesus, Jillian....you seriously want to have this argument right now?"

"Yes...as a matter of fact I do. If not now then when? In a year...or two years or when our daughter is old enough to read about your affair in US magazine? Your publicist is good...but she's not that good."

Patrick was infuriated, and paced in a frantic circle not even knowing what to say. Jillian had never been overly jealous of his co-stars. She seemed to understand the demands of Hollywood and push him forward into fame no matter what toll it took on their marriage. He admired her for that selflessness, and now, he wasn't sure he even knew the person that stood before him.

"We're just friends." He defended, even though a part of his heart ached to call her that.

"Yeah. I bet. Do you think I'm an idiot? Do you think I don't see the way you look at her? The way she bats her pretty little eyelashes at you? You fawn over her like she's the second coming."

Patrick threw his hands in the air in response. "Are you kidding me? She's a friend. One of my best friends. You know how rare that is to find in this town!"

"Sure...keep telling yourself that. Whatever makes you feel less guilty, right? You flirt with her right in front of me!"

"You're being ridiculous. That's just the way I am. I flirt...it's harmless"

"No...no, I don't think it is!" They had never fought this way...ever and though he hated to fight with her...he knew it was something they had to get out.

"You let her drive your car? Your baby...the car I can't go within two feet of? I bet she loved that...what did she have to do to get that privilege?"

"Do not even go there, Jillian." His eyes were dark, barely any blue was visible. "I have never cheated on you. I'm not having an affair. We're just friends."

"Right. I guess she just so happens to need a ride home every night for the past four weeks? Oh...and the trailer you share? That must be a nice private getaway for you two." He couldn't believe the things she was bringing up. It was his job...he had no control over the long hours...or trailer arrangements.

A tiny voice in the back of his mind nagged at him, it broke away at his resolve little by little telling him he wouldn't be so defensive if it wasn't true. But that was insane. He had never slept with Ellen. They had never been intimate off screen. He loved his family....his daughter was his world.

"We're just friends, Jill. I don't know what else you want me to say." She turned her back to him, as if she needed to regain her confidence and perhaps her bravery. When she turned back around, all hint of pain was erased from her eyes...and all he could see was anger.

"No. You don't get to do this. You don't get make me seem like an idiot. This is our marriage, Patrick. This is our family. You have a wife. You don't get to go off and have late night dinners, and private trips to the park with our daughter and your mistress. You don't get to see another woman more than you see me. It doesn't work that way."

"Jillian..." He argued, lowering his voice. The sun was starting to set, it was beautiful...with hues of pink and dark purple. It was an ironic slap in the face compared to the ugly fight he was having with his wife.

"No. I don't want to hear it." She told him, taking a deep breath before getting out what she had to say. "It's her or me, Patrick." She told him and he was stunned into silence once again.

"What the hell does that mean, Jillian?" He asked after several minutes of silence. "I work with her every day. Meredith and Derek are the hit of that show...I have to see her." Jillian seemed to have an argument already formulated for any defense he could give. She had been thinking about it for awhile, letting it stew and boil for months.

"No. You have to see her on set. You have to film with her. That's it. You don't have to do dinner, or drive her home every night...or let her drive your most prized possession."

"So, instead of just taking what I have to say on faith...you're going to make me give up one of my good friends? I didn't realize you were so insecure."

"Well, I never was before."

"I've never given you a reason to be insecure!"

"But you are right now! You seriously have to think about which of us you would choose? We're done. I'm sick of this argument already. I'm telling you right now, that woman...." She trailed off, trying to find the right nasty word to describe her, and Patrick sent a glare that kept her from saying the words out loud.

"That woman...whatever she is to you...is effectively destroying our marriage. I'm telling you right now....you end whatever you have going on with her..."

"Nothing is going on!" He interrupted, but she paid no attention.

"Maybe you're not sleeping with her....yet...and maybe her boyfriend can just sit back and be a doorm
at...but you are in an emotional relationship with her and I'm sick of it." He was shaking his head, trying to get a word in, but she wouldn't let him.

"No, you either end things with her right now. That means you work with her...and that's it...or I'm taking T and we're leaving." Anything he had been holding in exploded in that moment with the threat about his daughter.

"Are you fucking serious? Don't you dare threaten me. You are blowing this way out of proportion."

"Oh, really? Do you wanna try me? I'll move out, I'm sure you and Ellen will be very happy here." She spat at him, refusing to listen to reason.

He didn't know what to do. As the anger cursed through his veins threatening to overtake him....he had no idea what to think. Jillian was acting insane. How could he just give up his friendship with Ellen?

The pair stood in silence for awhile, as the sun set around them and the sky slowly darkened until they could barely see each other at all.

They had both calmed down, as the porch light kicked on, he caught a glimpse of his wedding ring reflecting in the light. He was married, he took vows, he had a loving family...and suddenly guilt set in and settled over his mind.

"Fine." He mumbled...into the air, knowing she was still staring at him even though he refused to look at her. "I'll stop being friends with Ellen." He looked visibly dejected. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes were down.

As Jillian watched him walk back into the house...she wasn't able to feel like she had won. Her husband looked more distraught over losing his "good friend" Ellen...then he did over losing her. It was then that she realized....that the only two people who didn't know Patrick loved Ellen....were Patrick and Ellen.


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« Antworten #6 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 02:41:50 »

-1 week later-

Four days, ninety-six hours...and some obscene number of minutes. That's how long it had been since he'd talked to Ellen. The show had gone on a small break for the Thanksgiving holiday. For once, it was the first break he hadn't been looking forward to.

A break from work meant spending 4 days with his wife who did nothing but ignore him or throw bitter remarks his way. Apparently, giving up his co-star wasn't enough. She wanted assurances...she wanted proof that he had stopped, she wanted his time...his money...and perhaps even...his soul.

It had been easy to say he was going to stop talking to Ellen. In theory...saying anything was easy. It was actually doing it that was the problem. Luckily...or as he thought...not so luckily...the holiday kept him from seeing his co-star.

Ellen had gone back east for Thanksgiving, with Chris he supposed. He wasn't sure when his mind started describing Chris as a freeloader....but it happened...and he went with it. He had yet to make the phone call he was dreading. He had yet to call his best friend and effectively end their friendship.

Jillian had told him to "end his affair". How do you end something that never existed? He didn't know...and he was sure Ellen wasn't going to know either. He was afraid of hurting her, or crushing the loving spirit he knew so well. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his brain, his mind told him that it should have been his wife he was worried about hurting.

Four days....ninety-nine hours...and so many...many minutes later...he found himself sitting in his trailer on the set. Shonda had called them in earlier than expected. Something about a script rewrite she had to rush to get filmed. He had acted disappointed when he was forced to leave the dinner Jill and him were sharing in silence. He was a damn good actor apparently because she bought every curse he threw into the air.

Patrick still hadn't talked to Ellen. Her plane had just landed two hours before. She would be on set soon and he couldn't hide his excitement. His leg jittered nervously, causing a tap, tap, tap noise to sound off his shoe.

Wiping his sweaty palms against his pants, he realized that he hadn't felt so nervous since the day he asked Jillian to marry him. There was an irony in that realization that left him confused, and a little sick to his stomach...but before he could dwell on the feeling, a voice broke him from his reverie.

"What the hell happened to you, Patrick? You don't look so good." The voice that had consumed his thoughts for the past few days said to him, and he looked up to see Ellen standing before him. He hadn't heard her come in, but it didn't surprise him. She always seemed to sneak up on him.

"Nothing." He fumbled, and covered it up with a grin. His mind was literally working in overdrive at the sight of her. Her hair was in loose curls around her face, the kind of curls that take hours to do...but ended up looking like it took no time at all. She was at ease, her rosy cheeks glowing with warmth. Even in her simple outfit of jeans, a t-shirt and ballet flats, he thought she never looked more beautiful.

'Friends could call each other beautiful!' He argued with his mind as it assaulted his psyche with Jill's words. Ellen was just staring at him in concern, and he realized she must have thought he had lost his mind.

"Are you okay?" She asked, and then plopped her large bag down and pulled out the revised script that had been couriered to her hotel in New York. She didn't even try to cover up the accent that had slipped back into her speech during her time back east. She was comfortable enough around him that she didn't have to hide her true self.

"Yeah. I am. It was just a long day. I missed you, El." He couldn't contain himself any longer, he stood up and pulled her into a hug. As they embraced, he wondered how it was possible that their bodies seemed to fit like two puzzle pieces that had been lost...and then found again behind some dusty piece of furniture.

"I missed you too." She told him with a smile, and then pulled away to make herself comfortable on the small sofa. "I feel like we haven't talked in forever. How was your Thanksgiving?" She asked innocently. She had texted him a few times, it wasn't unusual. But he had deleted the messages without replying. He couldn't handle Jill flipping out at him again.

Suddenly, he remembered why exactly they hadn't talked. The real reason...not the holiday excuse he had convinced himself of. Ellen's smile fell, seeing something in his eyes she couldn't quite place.

Something wasn't right, and she moved over and patted the seat beside her. "What is it? What's wrong? I'm here if you need someone to talk to." Pangs of guilt stabbed into his chest. Of course she was there. She was always there...doing anything for the people around her. That's who she was. That's who she always would be. She was there to listen to his problems...but how could he tell her she was the problem? How could he look her in the face and tell her that his wife despised her? Jill had threatened to leave him if he didn't stop talking to her. How was he supposed to tell Ellen that?

Shaking his head, he sat and thrust his head forward and into his hands. No. He could not put that burden on Ellen. He could not sit and blame his marital issues on his kind-hearted co-star.

He had no idea how long he had been lost in his thoughts. Suddenly, soft fingers were running through the curly hair at the base of his neck. The touch was so feather light, he thought he imagined it at first, but then it grazed over his neck again and he shuddered at the feeling.

She pulled away just as suddenly, his shudder sending a rush of common sense through her head. Lifting up his head, he looked up at her. Indigo met greenish-blue and their eyes clashed with such force, that neither knew what to make of the sudden connection they shared.

The air around them changed, it was like electricity bounced and resounded off their bodies. It was the good kind, the kind you could watch from afar on a summer night...but know it was too far away to harm you.

In the entire time he had been married, he had never once thought about kissing another woman off screen. But in that moment, he could think of nothing else but tasting her soft lips. He licked his unconsciously, wondering what it would feel like if he just tilted forward and closed the distance between them.

People would find that funny, he knew. He had kissed her several times on screen. Of course he knew what it felt like....but...it was nothing compared to an off screen kiss. A kiss....where he didn't have to pretend to be cocky and arrogant.

He could always read her eyes. No matter what she said, her eyes gave her away, and as he stood imaging himself kissing her....he watched her eyes change from confident glowing ones...to fearful teary ones. He saw it all reflected there. Every emotion she held. Her eyes pleaded with him not to hurt her, not to shatter the heart that perhaps wasn't as strong as she let on.

With sudden clarity, he was able to shake his fantasy away and break his gaze from hers. The magic spell was broken within seconds. The electricity fizzled away slowly, it left their bodies tingling...but left an awkward silence looming in the air.

He had to tell her. It was the only thing left to do. Maybe Jill was right...his mind argued...and then he pushed that thought aside. It was perfectly natural to imagine kissing someone else.

"Jill and I got into a fight this weekend." He blurted out, and refused to meet her eyes. He was too afraid of what he was about to see within them.

"That's terrible." She replied sincerely. They were both ignoring what had conspired only moments before...and a part of him was glad for that. "What about?"

He wanted to laugh at how innocent she was, how naive she was to believe his wife had really intended to be close with her out of friendship. He had been naive as well, but he would never make that mistake again. He wasn't about to put Ellen in that position.

"About you." She was too stunned to reply...and he thought she was going to ask why...but something told him she was much too smart for that. Finally, looking up at her, he could see the realization hit. It seemed to lay an imprint of shock across her features like he had physically slapped her.

Tilting his head in apology, he watched as her features changed and were replaced with guilt. "Oh god....Patrick...I'm so sorry." It made sense to her, she was a woman after all, she knew what it felt like. Her guilt was exactly what he wanted to avoid.

"No, no, please don't feel bad. This is not your fault. She can't handle the hours I spend at the set....the time I spend with you...she just doesn't understand that's all." Ellen nodded, she understood. Her own boyfriend has had many of the same reservations when she started spending late nights on the set.

"What happened? Did you smooth things over? Maybe I should talk to her." She offered, and it made him smile at her willingness to help fix his problem. But the guilt came back and turned his smile into a frown. She was looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer...and he knew he had to be honest with her.

"Actually...well...not really. She....basically made me promise not to see you anymore. She thinks our friendship is causing a rift...." He tried to pause in between each word...giving himself more time to explain...to prepare for what was about to happen. But, nothing could have prepared him for the hurt that was displayed across her face.

"Oh..." Was all she said. Before, he had never been able to make the comparison between her and her alter ego, Meredith Grey. But looking at her in that moment...it was easy to see where she got the inspiration for Meredith's dark and twisty soul.

"That....um...yeah, I get it." She murmured, and then they were plunged into the most uncomfortable silence he had ever encountered. The freeze out from his wife was nothing compared to the aching feeling Ellen's pain was causing in his chest.

Before he could respond, it was as if Ellen had remembered who she was...and what she was doing. In an instant, she had transformed her entire image right before his eyes. No longer did she look sad and deflected. Instead, she sat up straight, poised and confident. She had carefully constructed the mask back onto herself as most seasoned actors did so well.

"I'm sorry, Ellen. I don't know what else to do. She threatened...." He decided not to tell her all the gory details. They would only make her feel worse. "She thinks this will help things."

"Help things?" Ellen spoke in a tone that was 100 percent Ellen...and not a hint of Meredith. "She doesn't trust you....is she serious? You've never cheated on her...you are the most faithful man I've ever met. You live for your family." Anger had invaded her eyes, making them more blue than green.

"I know...."

"What does this say about your marriage, Patrick? She is so insecure that you can't have female friends. What does she want? Does she want Shonda to keep Meredith and Derek apart for the rest of the show just so we don't have to see each other?"

He flinched as her voice rose. Patrick knew all about her Italian temper. He had seen it taken out many times on her boyfriend....but it had never been used on him. All he could do was sigh, he didn't really have any words to defend his wife. He thought it was insane....and he would have downright refused to do it....if he didn't think his wife was capable of taking his daughter away.

"I don't know what else to do, El. I'm so sorry. You're my best friend. This isn't easy for me."

"This is ridiculous. I hope you know that. Asking your husband to cut off all contact with a co-worker is a little extreme." She spat at him, and then stood up and made her way back to her stuff.

"Where are you going?" He asked, still not sure what was going on. He had spent so much time worrying over telling Ellen...that he hadn't thought much past that.

"I'm going to Sandra's trailer. Unless...your wife doesn't want me to talk to her either..." She had gathered her stuff with such speed that he wondered how she was functioning at all.

"Ellen....please...I don't want to do this. You're my best friend. I just need some time." He pleaded, silently begging her to be reasonable.

"We're not best friends anymore, Patrick...you already decided that." Ellen told him, except...he hadn't decided anything...but she had fled out the door before he could tell her that. Saying he was going to stop being friends with Ellen and actually....doing it....were two completely different things...and his mind was just coming to terms with that.

Sitting on the sofa....listening to the sounds of Ellen screaming obscenities about him in the next trailer....he stared at the wall in silence. It had been two minutes....120 seconds...and who knows how many milliseconds....since he had talked to Ellen Pompeo....and he had never felt so alone.
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« Antworten #7 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 10:02:21 »

Welcome to our side makeminedreamy!

I´m so happy, that you decided to poste your story here!
I really, really love this Story...it´s the beste Dempeo Fic I´ve ever read   Liebe

Your Story seem so true for me and Merderforever1984 because your description of the feelings are so impressive..so we thought that you´re Ellen in real life  Zwinker and your story really happend to her  Grinsend

I can´t wait for the next update  Grinsend




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« Antworten #8 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 10:03:27 »

Hey I really have to say hello and thank you, that you're posting your FF in our small german forum. It's great as we get a bit of an international touch, I like this  Grinsend

Some years ago I really liked to read FFs but the last years I didn't find any time for it. Perhaps I will try to find time for reading your FF, now as you are posting it here. Perhaps there are more english-speaking fans like you, who would love to post their FFs in another forum and perhaps also here. If so don't hesitate sending them here. I would love to create an english speaking part in this forum, if required and wanted. Jaa
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« Antworten #9 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 10:57:05 »

@ makeminedreamy :You ´ll see the language is no Problem  Grinsend Grinsend Grinsend

I like the begining so much - I love the PD "Be careful" Thing  Liebe He´s her Knight in shinning whatever  Liebe

The Patrick/ Jill fight is soooo great - "Did you have a nice ride" - I love it  Zunge

Jill is such a stupid B****  Wuetend I don´t like the woman (The Pics from Patrick and his Snake Lady (yeah I like Jills Nickname  Grinsend ) on the Emmys are so sad, Patrick looks so sad  Cry This marriage is soooooooo over.....)

I think they have this fights, in real Life, too  Jaa

Ellen and Patrick - at the trailer....it´s so sad  Cry I love this part of your story so much  Liebe

Your story is so perfect and real - it must be real  Grinsend You must be Ellen in real life  Grinsend Zwinker

I hope you can update soon  Liebe Can´t wait for more  Liebe I can read this FF over and over again  Liebe

I'm really liking this board. I'm sad I don't speak german though because some of the stories seem really cool!

Thanks  Liebe We have some Dempeo Topics too  Zwinker There are Pics and Clips too  Zwinker I think we can find someone, who  translate a German FF or a Topic for you  Grinsend Tell me, which one you like and I make it possibile  Grinsend
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« Antworten #10 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 13:31:46 »

I really like your FF!!! it´s so great!! it seems to be so true!! I agree with MerDerForever and Cathy!! This is thr real Dempeo-Story!! It´s just hidden in an FF!!  Grinsend it MUST be true!
the FF is so romantic and amazing! I really can´t wait for any more updates!!  Jaa

And I really like the ideo of having a special english-speaking part in our forum and american and english members! This would be very awsome!!
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« Antworten #11 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 13:57:46 »

Okay, I'll have a try... (I can't speak English too Peinlich)
I like it or better I love it! Liebe Liebe Liebe
It's great and like all the other guys sad it has to be true!

"The only two people who didn't know Patrick loved Ellen....were Patrick and Ellen."
We had this sentence in one of our Dempeo-Threads and reading your Fic makes me believe that it has to be true Jaa
Can't wait for an update!
Bye Winke

PS: haha, I did it. short stupid sentences and nobody notices that I can't speak English Grinsend
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« Antworten #12 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 14:50:48 »

Okay, I totally understand why MerDerForever, Cathy and Mrs. McDreamy are so in this Dempeo thing Grinsend
They are totally affected by your great FanFiction Grinsend

Though I just read that part which you posted here, I understand why they all say that it seems so real.
The way you describe Dereks Feelings and even the way you describe the behaviour of Jill (by the way it's great that you display Jill in this jealous-wife-without-reason-thing. I can imagine it so well Grinsend) is really great Jaa

And I like this sentence
"The only two people who didn't know Patrick loved Ellen....were Patrick and Ellen."
too Jaa
I think it was in GA, too. When Addison says to the Chief "The only people who don't know Derek loves Meredith are Derek and Meredith."

I'll read on. Maybe I'll be in this Dempeo thing, too in the end Grinsend
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« Antworten #13 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 14:55:48 »

Welcome to our side makeminedreamy!

I´m so happy, that you decide to poste your story here!
I really, really love this Story...it´s the beste Dempeo Fic I´ve ever read   Liebe

Your Story seem so true for me and Merderforever1984 because your description of the feelings are so impressive..so we thought that you´re Ellen in real life  Zwinker and your story really happen to her  Grinsend

I can´t wait for the next update  Grinsend

haah well my middle name is Ellen! But...sadly I am not Ellen Pompeo. I wish i was!!!  Zunge I love her!!! Plus, my story would be much easier to write if I was her!!! Zunge

Thanks for having me here! I love it! And I'm a bit overwhelmed by all the great comments!





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« Antworten #14 am: 14. Oktober 2008, 14:58:47 »

Hey I really have to say hello and thank you, that you're posting your FF in our small german forum. It's great as we get a bit of an international touch, I like this  Grinsend

Some years ago I really liked to read FFs but the last years I didn't find any time for it. Perhaps I will try to find time for reading your FF, now as you are posting it here. Perhaps there are more english-speaking fans like you, who would love to post their FFs in another forum and perhaps also here. If so don't hesitate sending them here. I would love to create an english speaking part in this forum, if required and wanted. Jaa

I have two other fics. One is super long and one is...not currently updated because I have no time either!!! But, I think an english forum would be really neat! I bet there are a lot of authors you could get over here!
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